After years of swiping, ghosting, and dating app fatigue, a growing number of young New Zealanders are ditching the apps in favour of something that once seemed old-fashioned – meeting in person.
According to a recent Forbes Health survey, 80% of millennials and 79% of Gen Z users in the United States reported feeling mentally or emotionally exhausted by dating apps.
In Auckland, Thursday Dating is one example of this shift. The weekly event invites singles to put away their phones, grab a drink and talk to strangers.
“Thursday Dating is all about in-real-life connections,” said organiser Jasmine Donaldson. “Rather than trying to feel [your way] on the apps, it’s a more successful way of meeting someone new.”
Donaldson said people are craving more meaningful ways to meet. “I know quite a few people who are just kind of over it and have kind of given up, it’s unfortunate.”
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Sex and relationship therapist Jo Robertson is hearing the same thing.
“They’re over it. They’re over the dating apps. And for so many reasons… there’s fatigue because it gets confusing – is this person here just for a hookup?
“I think there’s a yearning, like, actually I do want connection. I don’t 100% know how to get it, but I tried the app thing because I want connection.”
Even Tinder is acknowledging the change. A spokesperson told 1News the rise of in-real-life dating is “complementary to the entire dating experience”, adding that loneliness is “an enormous issue for young adults who missed out on opportunities to connect in the midst of Covid”.
Robertson said the current wave of in-person dating echoes an earlier era.
“There’s a little bit of a reverting back into how people used to meet. Community dances, right? It’s the same thing. A collection of single people turning up intentionally to meet others.”
So while dating apps still dominate, it seems there’s a growing appetite – especially among young adults – for connection that can’t be manufactured by an algorithm.
