For Māori, assisted dying is a concept that forces whānau to consider how tikanga is to be used in a new setting. More than 2000 New Zealanders have applied for assisted dying since the End-of-Life Choice Act was passed into law in 2021 and — as more whānau experience a loved one making the choice — customs and protocols are being put in place to guide future generations. Mana Epiha spoke with two whānau about their experience for TVNZ’s Marae.
Watch the full report on TVNZ+.
Juliane Chetham’s sister suffered from multiple sclerosis.
“I don’t know if it’s perhaps, unlike other terminal diseases, [where] people think that… you don’t necessarily pass away from multiple sclerosis, but certainly from related sort of side effects.”
She said her sister’s health started on a “slow, downward spiral” for about the first 10 years, then symptoms continued from there. “She woke up really hating the fact that she had this every day.”
Juliane said her sister wanted the option of assisted dying “for a long time”, but their mum was opposed to the idea.
“I mean, it’s just unnatural. [It was an] unnatural idea for our mother to have her first-born child, her daughter, go before her. So there were those kinds of struggles.
“For my other tuakana and myself, we were, I guess, in the thick of what life was like for our sister, and we really wanted to help her.”
It was more straightforward for Andrea Hopkins’ mother who had terminal cancer.
“The main struggle was keeping my ego in check, quite frankly, and not making it about me,” said Andrea. “It was about my mother’s journey and also reminding my mother that there was no right or wrong in this journey. Everybody faces death differently, and it was her choice. Her time, her place and her way, and all I did was try to help facilitate with that.”
Andrea said the tikanga they followed for her mum’s passing was informed by what they did at home and at the marae. They “made it flow”, she said.
“We got her in the door. We had the kai, you know, make things noa. She also didn’t want everybody seeing her, she didn’t want everybody coming up the driveway.
“Up until her death, there was probably a handful of people that knew about it. There wasn’t too [many who knew], you know, it was a secret.”
For Juliane and her whānau, a group of relatives guided them through a tikanga process.
“[They came] in, do a karakia, let us have a bit of kōrero about our sister and sort of bless the place, and bless her and let her pass over.
“So we had that sort of process, and then we just had a cup of tea and a kai, and we just stayed with her for the rest of the day.
“The next day, we came back to her whare and we had the normal process of blessing the whare, so we can takahi the whare and whakanoa — lift that tapu off the whare.”
Haami Tohu, co-manager of Eternal Tides Funeral Services, said whānau who went through with the option have the opportunity to gather, to discuss directly with each other about the wants and needs of their loved one, and what their loved one might want to pass on.
“Kua kite au i wētahi mea tino ātaahua, te noho tahi o te whānau i runga anō i tēnā kaupapa te whakamate i a ia anō.”
(I’ve seen some beautiful outcomes from whānau who have gathered around a loved one who has chosen this option.)
In terms of tikanga, he said there was one case where karakia took place before an injection was administered, and again once the procedure was complete.
“Mutu mai i te mahi o te tākuta ka takina ko tētahi karakia ki runga ki te tākuta… he mea whakawātea ake i wana taputapu, tana ngira me a ia anō.”
(When the doctor finished what they were doing, a karakia was said over them… to bless them and the equipment used, such as the needle.)
From a Māori perspective, the medical practitioner and their instruments were an important aspect to take into account, alongside the usual considerations around tūpāpaku, or the deceased, and the metaphysical spiritual realm.
Haami believed assisted dying could provide relief to those who suffered from terminal illnesses, and they should be free to make the choice without judgement.
“Mōku ake he mea pai. He mea pai mō te tangata e ngau kino nei i te mate. E tino ngau kino nei i te mate.
“Horekau kei a tātou te whakawā ki a rātou nō te mea horekau noa tātou te rongo ake i te mamae rongohia nei rātou. Ka mutu, kei a ia anō tana tikanga.
(For me, it’s a good thing. A good thing for the person who is suffering severely from illness. Truly suffering.
(We have no right to judge them because we’re not the ones suffering through the pain that they are experiencing. Ultimately, it is up to them, it’s their decision.)
Andrea believed stigma associated with assisted dying and suicide was a colonial construct but acknowledged the concern around the topic. She encouraged people to seek out those who could help “because this is a new tikanga”. But, for her, it was about “keeping everything nice and calm for the person who’s facing their own death”.
Watch the full Marae report on TVNZ+.
Glossary
tikanga – customs and protocols
tuakana – older sibling (of the same gender)
noa – a state of being free from tapu; ordinary; unrestricted
tapu – sacred, prohibited, restricted
takahi whare – the act of ‘trampling’ the house to rid of its tapu and clear it of spirits
whakanoa – to make something free of tapu
tūpāpaku – the deceased, corpse
