Each stroke was more than just a mark on her skin; it was a passage through her past, a journey through the impossible, the hardship, and the darkness she had overcome.
She had previously heard stories from others that during the process they had fallen asleep and that they did not feel the mamae (hurt).
She had a completely different experience, reiterating that her skin was extremely tough when getting her moko kauae.
However, she said she was meant to feel it.
“I felt it all.”
“Because those strokes, they took me back to my journey of the impossible, the hardship, the darkness.”
With each stroke, she felt herself breaking free, shedding the weight of her past and embracing the promise of her future.
She said that the right side of her chin was especially painful, and after sharing kōrero with her brother, he explained that taha mātau, the right side represented tāne, it represented males.
This kōrero connected with her deeply.
“All the men in my life have caused me nothing but pain,” she said.
“But that pain, that mamae, has led me to my purpose and it was special.”
She reminisced on the powerful and spiritual journey of receiving her moko kauae.
“I had my late mum and kuia come through, and I felt that presence,”
She felt a sense of pride wash over her. It was not only a moment of reckoning – but also a culmination of her struggles and triumphs, her pain, and her resilience.
“It was a huge pivotal point in my life.”
And as the last line was drawn, she felt a profound sense of wholeness wash over her.
“It’s a rebirth, a revival,” she declared. “A revealing of the person I carry inside out.”